Before heading out to see Formaldehyde Flower perform! Wearing my lip chain and harness by Chained By Carrion <3
if this was a photo of another woman, i would love the crease in her back, caused by twisting her torso. i would adore that her knickers were coming down on one side. i would even be drawn to the hair tie on her wrist; thinking it was an intimate glimpse into her world.
but this is a photo of me.
i see back fat. i see sagging drawers. i see that i forgot to remove that damned hair tie, which i am not going to spend a billion hours editing it from every bloody photo i’d taken that day.
for a sane moment i realise that people could see in my photo, what i see in the photos of others. but that moment disappears quickly; all the sane ones do.
Anonymous asked: I just read your post on "are you ready for a smart submissive?" Excellent writing and it really spoke to my needs as a woman. However I feel like I might never find this magical creature they call the Alpha Dominant. They never challenge me enough. I have an MD, PHD, a masters in philosophy, I taught dance, debate, cheered for my university a few years ago, and know my french cuisine and wine like nobody's business. I know I've got it, but where are all the men????? I'm about to give up. ='(
Huh. That’s funny. One of the most dominant men I know is a philosophy professor.
I, too, have a master’s degree (medical field). I’m drawn to highly educated men… lawyers, engineers. (Cops, too… but the rationale behind that should be pretty apparent.) Why is that? Honestly, it has less to do with income potential than the fact that those types of men are often ‘alpha’ males. It takes a lot of determination, drive, and sticktoitiveness to go through that much schooling and build a successful career. They have to be dominant in life. Or they go nowhere. You mentioned debate (lawyers) and cheer (athletes); both historically dominant types. Dancing… um…
Where are they? Out there. Look for men who take leadership roles in their career. Look for the guy calling the plays. Look for the man in the group who’s ordering the wine. Look for signs of dominance and control that don’t come with a gag or paddle.
earthboundbrokenangel-deactivat asked: I'm not asking a question, actually. I wanted to say something to the woman asking about finding a dominant man, though she didn't ask for and may not care for my opinion. A dominant man isn't necessarily going to wear his dominance on his sleeve anymore than she wears her submission for all the world to see. Take the time to look beneath the veneer of civility that everyone wears. Pay attention to the little things. Give the men around you the level of attention you'd like. That is all. :)
Which is why I said to look for the little things: the man ordering for others; the man leading the group; the man others look to for answers. I’ve heard the (seemingly) smallest thing that no one else would likely catch, and made quick eye contact with the speaker… and just knew. It’s almost like an unspoken language. But you have to listen for it. You don’t always see it.
And if you’re convinced you won’t find it, or that it doesn’t really exist, then…